HOW NOT TO MAKE HAM POT PIE

Let me start this post by saying, less is more in the kitchen.  You know how they say that you should take off one accessory before you leave the house?  Well, I need to take that advice when it comes to my recipe inventions.  I just get crazy and start adding all sorts of things and before I know it, I've got some whackadoodle concoction that my poor husband has to bravely eat his way through.  He may actually be pawning it off on the poor dog, but at least I'm oblivious to it.

I had it in my head all day that I wanted to make a pot pie for supper.  It's cold and both the Man and I are in sweaters all the time, so what's a little bit off extra puff around our middles going to hurt?  Bring on the comfort carbs!

I was so proud of myself because I was going to use up a store-bought pie crust that had been lurking in the freezer, just waiting for me to forget about it for a year or three. I tried to thaw the pie crust in the microwave, which resulted in a molten blob of crust wrapped tidily in a plastic tube.  The dog was happy with that at least.  Off to make a real crust.  In retrospect, I should have known it was an "off" cooking day for me and I should have just made spaghetti, but I was determined.

Crust was made successfully at least.  I happily started to throw the sauce together just as the Man came home.

"I feel like Julie in that movie about Julia Child.  You know, working all day and dreaming about making food at home"  I yammered on to the Man about this, blissfully unaware that the sauce was adhering itself to the pan with a nice, black char.

A quick transfer to a bowl and the sauce was saved.  Into the crust it went and everything looked splendid.  It baked to a nice golden brown and filled the house with that Sunday-dinner-at-your-grandma's kind of smell.

I cut into it and it was neon yellow.  Whoah.

Once you've turned a sauce neon yellow, you can't go back.

"It tastes really good, love, but the sauce...why is it yellow?"

"Umm, I think I should not have put Turmeric in it"

"It's good...but I don't know if people in a restaurant would...order it"  That's my man, trying so hard to be nice.  He's the best.  He's also probably remembering the time I overreacted just a bit to his negative comment on my Thanksgiving meal gravy. I responded by throwing the whole meal in the garbage, turkey and all, and crying for about an hour.  Not proud of that one, although I'm sure we'll get some good laughs about it when we're more gray up top.

We both ate it, I ate it for lunch for the whole week.  The Man politely declined my offer to pack him some.  He had two helpings at home, but I'm guessing he didn't want to field questions about what the heck kind of a neon pie he was eating for lunch at work.

After a conversation with my amazing sister who can take a plain potato and make it taste fabulous with a pinch of salt and whatever magic she has that makes everything taste good, I realized I may have over seasoned a bit.

"What spices did you use in the pie?"

"Ohh, some of this, some of that.  Salt, pepper, turmeric-"

"Oh my, why?"

"I also put in sage, rosemary-"

"Amber!  That's too much with ham!  Maybe just a little thyme next time"

"Oh, I put that in, too"

She may have smacked her hand to her head while shaking it in disbelief, but I was laughing so hard I couldn't tell.

I think I need to call her for an intervention before I put any more spices into any recipe.

Well, since I've pre-screwed up this recipe for you, have no fear now, as I'll spend some more time tweaking it and post a really tried and true pot pie recipe soon.  In the meantime, remember, less is more.



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